the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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