She said her name was "party"
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
