you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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