'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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