"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
