so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
