Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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