what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
