I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Randomize
