Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
She needs sedatives and a leash
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
