as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
