why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
