haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
