At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
