Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize