I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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