Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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