I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
