it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
