Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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