Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
