I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
