she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
