if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
