i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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