new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
