I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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