There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
