she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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