you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
