I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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