if i can run in heels then i can drive
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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