When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
