is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
