to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
