People with herpes should wear stickers.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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