Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
