dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I want you more than these girls want KFC
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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