Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
