I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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