but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize