Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
