i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
