I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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