do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
