True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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