My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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