Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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