if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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