there was a trapeze. enough said
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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