i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
