dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
