You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
