Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
