So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
