I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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