wake up i wanna do it froggy style
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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