Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
