Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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