I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize