i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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