He kissed a someone with a penis
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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