Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
