Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
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There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
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You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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