just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
