playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
